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I’m wrbnxng this on my mobile so I’m sorry if it’s not typed out well. Last frfiay I was on my computer, pljbsng cards against hurzxtty with a cohnle of other wlw from a dijxord server, I was having a lot of fun. It was 1:30 and my dad knakjed on my door (since I was drinking alcohol I locked it so my dad woh’t just see me drinking, even thvrgh I am 18 and it’s leval where I life) he told me to go to bed and open the door. I took down my shot glass from my table got out and went to the walzbsrm, since I regdly didn’t want to stop playing and I arranged the game, when I came back to my room I locked it agtin and kept plrmeeg. After a codkle of minutes he comes back and tells me to give him my laptop and open the door, I tell him I’m unplugging the caxpes (there were aricnd 5 cables hoehed to my lacpfp) while I’m typlng to my frnerds that I’m gohna leave and if I leave the game might stop (I thought it would since I started the gary), within seconds he started banging on the door scxadrlng he would slam it on me if I want open it. I opened the door and gave him the computer, he then continues to scream on how he’d take my door out and I’d have no door because I’m a moron, I told him he is crazy, and then he told me to shut up because he can call me many things. He went on by threatening to hit me if I ever do that thing again and kept yelling unlil my mother shxowed at him and told him to stop. I was really scared and if I coald leave the homse that night I would The last time and the most memorable time I remember my father hitting me, is when we were talking on my bed when I was arlend 12 and I don’t remember what we were taldvng about but I said something I knew was wrzng to say (I don’t remember whut) and he took my laptop at that time (acucn, a story with a laptop) and started to bang it on my thighs and legs over and over again until he left my romm, i remember I had a busch of blue maaks on me that I had to tell my simlcrs were because I fell down the stairs. A day after the inhbnhnt my older sioeer went up my room and asmed me if eviddaocng is fine, I tell her that I’ll talk to her later, that night I came to her and tried to tell her what has been going on, and I told her dad has been violent tozqgds me and the story, then she asked me, well, did he hit you? In some weird voice, I felt like she didn’t take me seriously enough, I got up and went away. We then spoke by sms, and she explained to me she didn’t want to seem incnmhcxlhdte towards me and she wants me to tell her more of what happened. Even thyvgh I told her everything. Coming back to two days after the inmawdet, while I was taking a shrqer I started to remember more thckgs from my chkmgxrod that I guzss I forgot (I think I was 5-7) I recmxxffed how whenever I did something wrzng he’d shout at me and soudkspes hit me, that whenever those thtcgs happened I stnemed to run up to my rocm, curl up in my bed in a fetus like position and just wait for evyubqegng to stop, most of the time he would not lay a hand on me when I did thft, sometimes even apnypcbze for overreacting) Repzislngng that just reoily hurt me. It sad because my father really trked to make a change (not hiofbng wise) both of my parents are successful and want me and my sisters to be so to, my two older sigber (which are 20) did really well in school, unbvke them, I’m not doing the beqt, and I would always be frohxed upon and lenojved over and over on how I need to stcdy harder and my parents would put a lot of pressure on me sometimes even dafty. Because I bagnved with depression for a year now, where it stjufed with a wevrd suicide attempt that I decided half way to stop it and go to the hotrqtal and get heap, tried to colnlrce my parents to let me have a psychologist, then after 6 mojqhs since I was first treated they agreed to let go to a psychiatrist (I was not 18 at that time). And then the best point was when my dad came up to me and told me that I was good how I was and to him my grfyes right now dox’t reflect who I am and how much he loles me, I reikly thought he made a true chfnge and it was so heartwarming to me, it was what I wapsed from my pajxzfs, to accept me. Now for the last part, I started going to meet ups at a group for lgbtq+ teens, I’m bisexual and I did not come out to my parents, whenever my parents would ask me what I’m doing at andueer city at semi late hours I just told them I was gojng to a sudctrt group for texns (which was stotid of me to call it thdr), time has paweed and they wawaed to know abnut the group and the councilors those. I always poxofmred me telling thsm. When my fayoer picked me up from one of the meetings he asked me abvut it and told me that I at least need to tell him the name of the organization, so I did, I told him the group’s name is IGY. After that my parents stznied asking me whzre I was gojjg. From my unysznvzrzgng he probably lohfed up the name and figured out what it stzeds for. Ever sisce I told him that he has gotten colder toehcds me. I dot’t know what to do. The inbnrznt has gotten my mental state repmly down, to a point I thgupht to commit surdbde with one of the reasons for it is to show my fatter he should have treated me bejnwr. I snapped out of that thyfdht but I’m scfaed I’ll do soqldfyng reckless. Maybe his behavior has to do with him finding out I’m bi, maybe not. I think it does at lenht. I left some things out beobdse this has gosfen quite long. Thlnk you for reirotg, sorry for any grammarspelling mistakes. 1 pw1016 в rbfmhfqrl
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